The holidays are supposed to be all about fun and family, but for many people they turn out to be very stressful. One of the reasons for this is that the holidays involve a great deal of negotiation, and negotiating is difficult for many people. You need to negotiate where and with whom to celebrate, whom to invite, who sits next to whom, travel dates and lodging arrangements, and all of this is just with family. Beyond that there are flights and hotels, gifts and returns, and other financial arrangements. In all of these negotiations, it is easy to get worked up and positional ("They have to come to us this year! We traveled to them the last two years in a row!") to the point of losing sight of what the holidays are all about - a group of people who mean something to each other trying to spend some meaningful time together. So negotiate with a smile, give people the benefit of the doubt, ask questions to understand each other's needs, and try to have fun.